Friday, January 05, 2007

Introducing...

Many have asked, "When do we get to meet Jennifer?" Well, we talked last night and she is planning to visit the Falmouth area next weekend. She has an extended weekend because of the Martin Luther King holiday and is looking forward to meeting Amy's family and my church family.

I have to admit this makes me nervous for several reasons. Number one, introducing Jennifer to Amy's family is just weird. We all knew this day would come but as it approaches and the reality sets in, it makes me just a bit anxious.

Secondly, neither of us like being the center of attention. And though we won't be, if you were in our shoes you would sure feel like it:)

All in all, I'm excited. I think the world of this girl and this is one more step that I must take to move forward. So...ready or not, here we come.

23 comments:

Evan said...

A stud like yourself is always the center of attention :)

Anonymous said...

Chad, let me just stop to say that you are such a strong and amazing person. Overccoming the obstacles in which you have been faced with are unbareable for one to tackle alone, but you are not alone. You have the good Lord right where you need Him and you have the love from you friends and your faith which glows. I continue to pray for you in your journey forward for it may be a bit awkward and uneasy, but I think I speak for most of us to say that we love you and support you 100%. And though we have not met Jennifer I have to say she is a lucky woman to have met you. You are amazing and you are loved!

Lonnie "Superman"Love said...

If you want, that weekend I can sing a few songs. I like to be the center of attention for my singing rather then my good looks.

Anonymous said...

You may be ready but not so sure the folks at Antioch are. I'm sure she is a wonderful person but it's a bit soon for most people to deal with.

Candie the Great said...

I'm very VERY happy that you've met someone you enjoy spending time with. I would love to meet her.
I know that for some folks, it may seem odd...but with all change, there is an adjustment period. What matters the most is that you pray about it...and you do what God have you do...everything else will fall into place.

Anonymous said...

Many people are very happy for you. But I think many may also think it is a little soon. The one year date of Amy's passing has not arrived yet, with that will bring on many emotions. Also, relationships are wonderful especially in the beginning the newness, but before jumping in with both feet you may want to take it a bit slower. Assuming Jennifer will be spending the night in your home while she visits, how is that explained to your daughter? Emrie doesn't need girlfriends coming in and out of her life. I have noticed your blogs revolving around Jennifer and not the church, community, or your family the last few times. I don't mean to be harsh but I am also being realistic.

Miranda said...

Chad,
I learned the hard way that someone always needs someone else to share their life with, when my mother died in 2004 I could have never imagined my father with someone else, as a matter of fact I didn't want to imagine it. When he introduced my brother, sister & I to his girlfriend/companion, I was very distraught & upset, but I asked the Lord to help me understand this & find a way to "deal" with it, well as we all know He is always listening b/c I soon realized that my father could not be alone for the rest of his life & be happy, so therefore I spoke with my father & told him that if he is happy, then so am I & I meant it, I am happy for my father as I am happy for you. It's hard for the families at first, but you can't be selfish, you have to think about that person & what they're going through & realize this is something they need, as my mother always said "You have to put yourself in their shoes". I am very happy for you Chad & I hope you & your little girl are happy too, for that is what counts, not what everybody else thinks.

God Bless you !!
Miranda

Anonymous said...

Too soon? The pain of loosing someone you love as much as Amy never goes away. Somedays there are fewer tears, but the pain of not being able to talk with, laugh with and just be with, that never goes away. Unless we have walked in Chad's shoes, we cannot say what is "too soon" for him" Cancer is a long and hard daily battle from the day of the diagnosis to the day of death. There seems to be something of an unwritten rule about a mourning period of one year, but are we going to hurt any less on Feb. 9th because we have passed that sad day of Feb. 8th? Everyone needs to step back and not be judgemental towards Chad. His love and good memories of the days he spent with Amy will never go away. It is just time to turn a page in his and Emrie's lives to prepare for the next chapter. Yes, for some it is too soon to think of "another girl stepping into Amy's place" The wound is still raw and for some the healing takes much longer than for others. But let it be said, one CANNOT JUDGE ANOTHER'S LOVE FOR THEIR LOVED ONE BY HOW QUICKLY THEY HEAL OR DON'T HEAL". Chad & Amy had a truly wonderful marriage, a great friendship, and were super ministry partners, and Chad did NOT choose to be alone. Therefore, because he had a good thing, he is searching for that again. How many lonely nights does a man have to sit alone to make it "OK" for some? Chad is a compassionate, loving person. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He would never in a million years want to intentionally hurt or damage in any way the Church Jesus has allowed him to lead. On the otherhand, he would never want to be deceitful and know full well he growing to love another girl and not be open and honest about it. So there lies the dilemma. When he lost his wife to cancer he had 100% support. When he seeks to find another wife, the support wavers. That doesn't make either right or wrong, it just makes it hard. Praise the Lord Jesus that as long as we keep Him in the center of all this upheaval, He guides us on His path. There is a lot of things I don't know, but I know this......Chad loves the Lord Jesus and more than even those trips to Louisville, his passion is to serve Jesus Christ with a reckless abandonment. Just pray for he & Emrie, their families.

Anonymous said...

I, too, am SO glad that you have met someone whom you consider to be "special"! I know this whole "dating" thing must be a little awkward, but I do hope and pray that you will find that right person with whom you can spend the rest of your life. I wish the best for you and Emrie!

Lonnie said...

Hey Chad...
Wow, you sure are getting a lot of comments on this blog. I wonder sometimes how you handle some of the more “truthful harsh” ones. And my heart sort of feels bad for you when you have to see that. If you like this Sunday we can bring back “The House of Love” for a special “reunion” show. Call up Kev, Evan, Kelly, and we will get the strobe lights and have some “attitude” and I will break out into the “robot”

Sheila said...

Chad, I am so happy for you. You stay strong, you and your Master will know what is best. I admire your strength and wisdom. Moving on can be tough, but it's a must, and those who understand will and those who understand won't. Can't wait to meet Jennifer. Maybe you can come visit at FCC! You may have to sing a few hymns :)

Anonymous said...

I have watched the last few weeks how people have talked about "Jennifer", and personally, Chad has a biblical right to find love again! God knows what’s going to happen before we do, he knows years ahead. Chad you are a man of God and as long as you keep him number one all things will come! As for her staying with you, you are a grown man and I think you can handle what ever comes your way. Emrie will have questions, but she's 4 all 4 year olds have questions. This is not a bad thing that is happening, it isn't a bad thing at all! As long as Emrie sees that this is something good that is happening to her family, and her whole family supports it and is happy about it, then she will not fear it she will be excited about it. You need to talk about this not with your friends or family but with God! As long as God is leading you down this path all things will work out. In Matt 6:33 it says, "seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you". As long as you follow him you will be great, seek God first and all will come in time. Don't let others judge you for what you are doing, if it's too soon for others, well say I'm sorry but I have a life to live and the journey isn't over. As for the church, they saw the pain that cancer can cause, they supported you through it, the pain will never go away of losing someone, but you should not morn the rest of your life. The church should support you in this, remember we as Christians don’t have the right to judge, God will do that when it’s time. I’m happy for you Chad, not many people find love again after losing love once. I’ve only seen it happen to one other person and that was my mother. After losing my father to cancer she found love again, at this moment she and my stepfather have been married for ten years, and you know what they act like kids when you see them together they’re so happy. Let others think what they want, as long as your right with the Lord you'll be fine. So be happy and enjoy it!!

Jana said...

As one of Amy's friends who is still grieving, I think this reveal about Chad having a new relationship just came as one more reality check that she's really gone. Is there really such a thing as closure? I just don't know, nor do I know what Chad is going through as, thankfully, I've never lost a spouse.

I just encourage anyone reading this blog to pray for Chad, for the Barnards, and for our church.

Mike said...

Chad, you are going to hear both criticism and encouragement. I remember when my mother passed away and my father started dating again. It was about 9 months after she had passed (also from cancer). Many people do not understand that for the family of a cancer patient, the grieving process starts the day you are informed that your loved one has the disease. For my father, the loneliness was unbearable. I was not sure about his timing, but it was the right thing for him. Only you know when the right time is. Just give it time, not rushing anything, and enjoy the life that God is blessing you with. I support you 100% brother.

Evan said...

Chad, I can't take it any longer. If you don't want this posted publicly, that's cool with me. But I know at least that you'll read it.

Anyone who knows Chad Doerr knows that his heart beats primarily for God. All decisions you make are bathed in prayer--including this one about Jennifer.

None of us know the conversations you and Amy had about this issue of "moving on," but I know you had them. You've told me as much. Those couldn't have been pleasant conversations, but it was good you had them. That again verifies the strong relationship you and Amy had together.

I find it the height of arrogance for someone to chastise you for this being "too soon." I also find it the height of cowardice for such a person to hide under the "anonymousness" of an internet blog site.

This is between you and God--that's it. Only God knows the right timing in any and every situation, and since you speak with him regularly and intimately, I feel like you know His will for your life in this matter.

As a leader, you know that criticism is frequent. Sometimes it is legitimate, and needs to be considered fairly. Other times, the criticism is unwarranted and unfair, and simply needs to be ignored. Other times, it is unwarranted and unfair, and needs to be countered with common sense.

The latter applies here.

You are a man of God. You are my friend. Therefore, you have my support in whatever decisions you choose to make. I know such decisions have not been made in haste. But more importantly, I know such decisions have been made after spending time "in the closet" with God.

Be good, my brother. I'll tell Bob you said hey :).

Anonymous said...

Chad, only you know when it feels right to move on. As with many decisions we make in our lives, there will be those we please and those we don’t. The only person you need to worry about pleasing is Christ. You have centered your life around the Lord and that is all that matters. He will guide your way from there! Amy :)

Daniel said...

Chad, I don't know you beyond this blog and what Darrrel (my friend & pastor) has told me. That being said, you are obviously a man who seeks after God. He will direct you (and has it would seem) in this time of your life.

To the anonymous people who criticize: Your opinions are yours and you are certainly entitled to them (as are those who are supporting Chad's decision). However, why not be brave enough to state your opinions with a name attached. It's easy to criticize anonymously, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

It truely breaks my heart to read some of the criticism some of have posted. It is good to be honest, but to be so selfish. The one person who has to be worried about being ready is Chad, and I guarentee it wasnt an easy decision for him to make. Be thankful that he is honest and not trying to hide his new journey. He tells us because he wants support. He doesnt want you to say your not ready. We all loved Amy, how could you not? But the one who loves her most is Chad and when he is ready to take the next step in his life then we shall be supportive because we want to. For Chad. He needs us. Do this for him because we all know he would do anything for us.
And I wouldnt worry about when jennifer comes to visit and where she is gonna stay and how Chad is going to explain it to Emerie. Chad is a grown up and I am sure it wasnt easy for him. I am sure Emerie has not been placed on the back burner and I know Emerie has played the main role in Chads decision making. He wouldnt do anything to hurt Emrie. So for the coment made about "girlfriends comming in and out of her life" get real. That degrades Chad making coments like that. Take his thoughts and feelings into consideration before posting. Lets please be supportive and pray for the best. We cant deny the future forever.

Sandi said...

Well said Daniel! I was going to make the same statement!...........A blog is a blog, and Chad speaks with his heart, and was COURAGEOUS enough to SHARE with everyone HIS GRIEVING heart, soul, spirit and FAITH......

AMY CAN "NEVER" BE REPLACED. EVER!!
AMY LOVED CHAD AND WANTED HIM TO FIND ANOTHER TO SHARE HIS LIFE WITH.

SORRY (KIND OF) TO BE SO BLUNT, HOWEVER, CHRISTIANS????????????
THIS KIND OF JUDGEMENT IS WHAT TURNS "NEWBORNS" AWAY FROM A "CHURCH".......AND

THINK OF HOW LONG CHAD AND AMY SUFFERED WITH THIS DEADLY DISEASE OF CANCER.........

AND,,,,,,,,,,,,,, TO ASSUME THAT JENNIFER WILL BE STAYING AT CHAD'S HOUSE, WITH CHAD, AND EMRIE..... SHAME, SHAME ON YOU ANONYMOUS. FOR ASSUMING,.....and PLAYING GOD ROLE OF JUDGEMENT. SHAME ON US ALL!

YES I AM ON A RAMPAGE!!! AUNT SANDI

Anonymous said...

Chad,

You really don't need some of the garbage left on your blog....I will leave it at that. (See, I listen to your sermons)

We, the Northcutt clan, praise God in a very loud voice, that you have met someone. We will pray that the relationship develops into something special. You and Emrie deserve that !

Antioch wants a minister that is happy and that can smile once again.

Welcome Jennifer ! (I can't wait to meet her)

Glenda Northcutt

Lonnie said...

I liked what you said Evan.. I feel the same way.. You are so gifted in words.... I am your friend too Chad, and you know I gots your back!!

Anonymous said...

You know Chad. cowards hide behind a negative blog...true friends tell you how it is...And I am hoping I am a true friend, speaking as a mother who lost a son to cancer, left 2 children behind and a young wife, what right do i have to tell this young lady when it is time to move on, only she knows that...God Bless and the best of everyhting too you,Emrie and Jennifer and I really hope it works out...

Anonymous said...

can she fish..thats all